


two steps far from you

by paeliz



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Charles is Oblivious, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Fluff, M/M, Protective Erik, Sweet Erik, all types of Erik honestly, like for a telepath you think he would catch on quicker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-03 04:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10235936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paeliz/pseuds/paeliz
Summary: in which a man who needs someone finds someone whether he likes it or not.





	1. with maybe

**Author's Note:**

> ah geez what is this its like my hands hit the keyboard and then i hit publish and thats what i get for trying to write at 3:30 in the morning (i swear this might get better idk yet)

The first time he hears him, Erik's drowning.

He's drowning in his past, and his future, and maybe tears (not that he would ever admit that, because he _failed,_ and Erik Lehnsherr does not fail), and not to even mention the fact that he's also _actually_ drowning in water.

Maybe it’s a sign, Erik hazily thinks.

Maybe his plan was doomed from the start. Maybe he should have left and started a new life while he still could.

Maybe he _was_ alone; everything had been taken from him by that _monster._ Everything he cared about was gone, and the only thing he could do about it was kill what killed them. All he could do was become that monster.

As they say, you are what made you.

Slowly sinking _down, down_ , _down,_ Erik thought of his life. He never thought about what happened after he killed Shaw; it was all about getting him that he never thought about what happened next (after all, you can’t spend your whole life obsessing over ghosts).

But then again, maybe he wasn’t alone. Maybe he should let it go (or at least that’s what the voices in his head told him).

Voices.

In his head.

 _There’s_ the sign.

Erik realizes that that voice is an _actual_ voice and thinks, hey, maybe he should listen to it (he does).

(He also thinks that the voice is a _really nice_ voice and he doesn’t mind having it in his head, honestly.)

The first time he puts a face to the voice, Erik is soaking wet.

But it’s okay, he thinks, because he _really_ doesn’t mind having that voice in his head, because the person he’s looking at is nice; everything about him is nice (especially his eyes and Erik never really liked blue, but when he saw those eyes, he changed his mind). And then that voice tells him that he’s not alone, and for the first time in forever, he actually considers for a moment that that may be true. Looking at those around him, he _knows_ that’s true. The person the voice belongs to ( _Charles,_ found out), smiles at him and suddenly he considers his future and thought that if he got to see that smile one more time, he could die happy, with or without Shaw (Charles denies he ever heard that).

The first time he thinks he’s not alone, Erik is with Charles.

He’s standing on a ship surrounded by people _he doesn’t even know_ (and he really doesn’t want to), but he wants to believe the boy with the blue eyes, and he’ll be damned if someone tries and stops him.

 


	2. with blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man i may just make these one-shots or something?? like just completely random parts idk man probably not but its a thought
> 
> also, for those who commented and left kudos, thank you!! it means a lot and you're really sweet, so just thank you!!
> 
> also also @me maybe actually put dialogue in this story possibly just a thought
> 
> also also also ig these chapters are going to get progressively longer pls be proud of me dad

Erik has always considered himself a man of great fortitude, and yet, for some unfathomable reason, he doesn’t leave the base.

He blames it on Charles and that damned speech. (“It’s not just me you’re walking away from.” _Yes, it is._ )

He blames it on those eyes (which Erik didn’t think he should be at fault for; looking in those eyes made him feel like he was drowning again, but in a _different_ way. It made him feel like he was _alive_ and had all the power in the world.) 

He blames it on himself for being weak. (He has always considered himself a man of great fortitude.)

So, the next morning when he walks into the office and sees Charles and the agent talking about a modified satellite, he actually has to stop himself from audibly sighing, because he cannot believe this is what he chose over Shaw.

But then Charles looks at him with those blue eyes and says, “ _Erik! You’ve decided to stay.”_ and he thinks to himself that maybe he’s doing something better with his time. And then he thinks that, honestly, he’d probably just be sitting in some hotel room in a distant country in Europe, drinking alcohol that has no right to be so expensive, and thinking thoughts that shouldn’t be thought. (Thinking was Erik’s most dangerous pastime that didn’t end in bodies. Or shouldn’t, and yet.)

And then the agent opens his mouth and says that he’s going to send suits to collect the mutants, and something in him snaps (he blames it on his lack of sleep), and he says that that’s not going to happen, because if someone is going to help them, it should be other mutants.

And then Charles _agrees with him,_ and says that he won’t use the satellite if they don’t get the mutants _alone,_ and all Erik can think about is how Charles agreed with him, which shouldn’t make him as happy as it does, and when Erik realizes that it makes him happy and makes him feel _something_ , he can’t contain his smile (he’d almost forgotten what it felt like to smile).

He decides he likes this feeling.

He decides he wants to feel this feeling again, and if being around reckless children meant getting to be around Charles, and meant getting to feel happy again, it’s worth it.

And then Charles pushes his chair back with a light squeak and they go outside where – Henry, Harry, something – is, and they look at this ‘mutant detector’ to see how it works.

Charles likes how it works. 

So, he puts on the helmet and gets adorably defensive when _Hank_ asks if he’s sure that he can’t shave his head, and Erik never thought that he would find a grown man denying a haircut adorable, but these are the cards he’s been dealt, and he’d be damned if smiles (he can’t help it), and then he _tells_ Charles that he looks adorable (as a lab rat, of course, because he most definitely _does not_ find Charles cute.)

(He’s not kidding himself.)

(He’s not sure if he _wants_ to kid himself.)

Because Erik has always considered himself a man of great fortitude, so when Charles looks at him amazed that he could reach so many people, he _absolutely_ doesn’t smile back, and he _totally_ doesn’t feel his heart melt a little bit.

(He’s _really_ not kidding himself.)


End file.
